


I Am Here

by JaeAlexander



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:44:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeAlexander/pseuds/JaeAlexander





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Revel_In_It](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revel_In_It/gifts).



Shin Hoseok had woken up to the sound of his phone ringing. His sleep fogged mind begged him to ignore it and will himself back to sleep but slowly comprehension found him and the ringtone registered in his mind. Accidentally knocking his alarm clock off the bedside stand, angry red numbers glaring the predawn time at him from the floor, he fumbled for his phone, half blind from sleep. At long last he found it, answering before the caller could hang up.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Need me to come get you?" Despite his struggle to wake up, his voice portrayed more of his concern than his exhaustion.

"Hoseok..." The voice on the other end of the line was shaky, indicating the owner had been crying, possibly still was.

"What happened?" Hoseok was already getting out of bed. Grabbing a pair of socks, he shoved them and a shirt on, slipping in shoes as he headed out of his apartment for his car.

"We had a fight and I l-left... When I came back..." Hoseok heard his caller vomit and winced. Whatever had happened must have been awful.

"I'm on my way. Where are you?" Getting into his car, he started it quickly, backing out of the parking garage.

"The park... I'll meet you at the park..." The line went dead and Hoseok lowered the phone to his cup holder, racing to the meeting stop, relieved at the lack of early morning traffic.

 

***

 

Yoo Kihyun watched his own feet as he half stumbled down the street, wiping the remnants of bile from his lips. Hyungwon, his boyfriend, had been growing distant lately. Fears had ran rampant in Kihyun's mind over the sudden change in character. At the most he had assumed Hyungwon had something wrong with him and didn't want to admit it, not wanting Kihyun to worry.

The truth was worse. After a particularly bad argument, Kihyun had left, going out to buy his lover his favorite flavor of ice cream, hoping to distract him from whatever was hurting him. His arrival home was met with a special brand of hell.

Clothes littered the floor on the way to their bedroom, familiar shoes imposed on their entranceway. Cautiously, silently, he had crept forward, listening as soft whimpers grew louder and louder. The door was open enough for him to see inside without touching it. Hyungwon's close friend, Minhyuk, had him bent over the foot of the bed.

Kihyun had felt so numb. Dropping the ice cream, he left before either of them even knew he was there. Love. He had loved Hyungwon, had thought he had felt the same way. Now, though, it was hard to believe that such a thing even existed outside of his own heart.

So he called the only person he could ever truly trust. Trudging through the snow, Kihyun wasn't sure where to go. All he knew was simply that he could never go back home.

After everything he had done for Hyungwon, after every day spent caring for him, working a dead end job he hated to provide for him while his boyfriend waited for his modeling career to take off, this was what Kihyun got in return. The taste of betrayal was the bitter stomach acid still clinging to the back of his tongue. Pain of being treated as though their last three years together had meant nothing manifested in a tightness in his chest and the stinging tears that seared paths into his cheeks. He was sure he'd never be able to fix the pieces that were so freshly broken inside of him.

 

***

 

Hoseok pulled into the park and scanned the benches for Kihyun. They had been best friends for as long as he cared to remember. Growing up as neighbors, he couldn't remember a day he had spent in his childhood without the other by his side.Hoseok had been known as feminine, had always loved pink and cooking, but when it came to Kihyun he didn't feel like the weak, feminine thing he was usually mistaken as. Kihyun had always been just a little bit smaller than him, more emotional, more fragile, and when the younger was by his side, Hoseok felt like he could fight lions to keep him safe, to make sure his smile never had to leave his face.

Finally, he spotted Kihyun walking and got out of his car, running to embrace his best friend. The man was shaking, his cheeks slick with tears. Heart racing, Hoseok did his best to comfort him, rubbing his back and rocking him gently. He had no doubt that something awful must have happened between Kihyun and his boyfriend. In all honesty, Hoseok hated Hyungwon. The boy was overly flirty and didn't treat Kihyun nearly like the treasure he clearly was. Watching Kihyun fall head over heels for him had been one of the most painful experiences in Hoseok's life and now that it had clearly become sour, he was even more displeased.

"Kihyun..." When he spoke after some time, his voice was a whisper, his lips near his friend's ear as he held him tightly, desperate to keep him safe from further harm. "Tell me what happened..."

"Oh..." Kihyun stiffened slightly in his arms like he wanted to run away, causing Hoseok to hold onto him tighter.

"I'm here. I'll take care of you." He assured Kihyun, whom was avoiding eye contact with him.

"Hyungwon... I... I caught him... sleeping with Hyuk..." He had spoken so quietly that at first Hoseok had hoped he misheard, but he knew that couldn't possibly be the case, not with the way Kihyun was acting. Anger had been sudden inside of him.

"I'll kick his skinny, whore ass back into his mother's womb so he can hope to be reborn as somebody worth your time!" Hoseok had let go of Kihyun, hands clenched into fists as he made a move to walk toward his best friend's apartment, stepping around the emotionally injured man.

"Hoseok please..." Kihyun had wrapped his arms around Hoseok's waist from behind, holding onto him tightly. He could feel his wet face against the back of his neck. "Please don't... I just... Can I go home with you?"

Kihyun held onto his best friend tightly, afraid to let him go. Afraid that if he released his arms from around Hoseok, the man would walk away to confront Hyungwon, but more than that, he feared he'd crumble. Simply fall apart, unable to deal with the pain that left his heart pounding and his nerves raw.

"Kihyun..." Hoseok sighed. The younger felt his friend relax slightly. "Yeah. Let's go. You must be exhausted." 

Finally Kihyun stepped away. Hoseok reached out to hold his hand, giving Kihyun a small sense of comfort. His head hurt and all he wanted to do was sleep in a safe place. As Hoseok led him to the car, he was relieved to have found salvation in his friendship.

He watched the city lights pass by as Hoseok drove. How had his life gotten so dark so fast? He had given Hyungwon everything... Now he was sure he had always meant nothing. But at least Hoseok was here. At least he didn't have to fall apart alone.

Exhausted from tears and heartbreak, the low hum of the radio and the warm air blasting from the car's heater helped him drift off to sleep rather quickly. As he closed his eyes he squeezed Hoseok's hand gently in his, silently thanking him for coming to his rescue. Without him, he wasn't sure what he would have done.

Hoseok parked his car outside of the apartment complex and turned to face his snoozing companion. Even with his face puffy from crying, the man was beautiful to him. The way he slept was so peaceful that he couldn't readily bring himself to disturb Kihyun just yet so instead he sat and watched, taking in every feature, just like he had when they were kids and used to have sleep overs.

How many nights had Hoseok fought sleep to wait for the younger man to pass out first? He couldn't remember the amount with which he brushed hair out of his friend's face and tucked him in. Or even how how many times he had ghosted his lips over Kihyun's as he slept, barely daring to breathe, wishing he had the nerve to close that small distance between them.

Fueled by those precious memories, he inched closer, bracing himself against the passenger side door as he leaned over the center console. Lips were so close he wasn't sure a piece of paper could slip between them. Closing his eyes, he savored the tingling feeling of knowing they were a breath away from their first kiss. Kihyun stirred as the temperature in the car dropped enough to chill him. Taken by surprise and unable to move away in time, their lips met. Their eyes sprang open in shock at the same time as Hoseok scrambled away from the scene of the crime.

"Shit. I am so sorry. I was... I was trying to unlock your door to get you inside..." He managed to stammer out the first excuse that came to mind, thanking his lucky stars when Kihyun seemed to buy it at face value.

"I can do it. I'm imposing enough already." The younger gave him a small, sad smile and opened the door, stepping out into the chilly air. Taking a moment to mentally curse himself, he followed suit not long after.

Kihyun had almost forgotten what had happened in his sleep haze, had almost mistaken the lips that had woken him for those of his ex-lover. Truth was ready in his mind though as he felt the other man pulling away. He was with Hoseok. His life was in shambles and his best friend was apparently a creep. He didn't quite believe the older man's explanation but he was too exhausted to argue or question so he simply accepted it and made his way to the apartment. It wasn't like he had never thought about those lips before anyway. What it would feel like to have them on his skin... Or the sensation of dragging his nails over those vast shoulders…

Shaking his head to rid himself of the thoughts brought on by the supposed accidental kiss, he vaguely wondered if he was actually a creep. Watching as the older unlocked his apartment door, he couldn't help but imagine what his life would be like now if the one he had been with had been his friend. Hoseok always took care of him, made him feels safe and loved. Sure they argued sometimes but it was never anything major and they always made up quickly. It was hard to imagine a relationship with him going the same way his previous one had.

"Why couldn't it have been you?" He whispered as the door swung open before them and Hoseok stepped aside to let him in. Kihyun ignored the questioning look he received as he wandered into the familiar room. Tired, just wanting to sleep again and drown the pain that was slowly building up again inside of his chest, he found his way to Hoseok's room.

"Here." The older had followed him in, getting a pair of sweatpants and a tank top for him to change into. Turning his back on his friend, he stripped, dressing as quickly as he could so he could climb into bed and feel his friend's arms around him, chasing away all the bad things like he used to do when they were children and Kihyun was afraid of the dark. He needed that comfort now more than ever.

Hoseok followed the younger under the blankets, still feeling nervous over their lip lock. He rubbed Kihyun's back, keeping himself at a distance in case he had crossed too much of a line. It was almost a surprise when he felt the smaller man scoot closer. Soon he had a forehead against his collarbone and arms wrapped around him. With no further hesitation the older slipped his own arms around his friend's waist, pulling him closer.

"Thank you..." Kihyun murmured against his chest and Hoseok reached up to run his fingers through his hair. "Thank you for saving me."

"That is something you will never need to thank me for." He whispered in return, planting a soft kiss on the top of his companion's head. Every time he rescued Kihyun was just as much for his own happiness as it was for the man in his arms. It was simply a fact he had known for a very long time. If Kihyun needed him, Hoseok needed just as badly to be there for him.

He could feel the younger slowly relaxing in his arms and smiled softly. If asked when to pinpoint the moment he had fallen for his dorky best friend, Hoseok would never be able to give a real answer. It was never so much a moment as a slow accumulation of many things. But if he had to answer, he would say it was when they were in middle school when he finally realized what he had been feeling was love.

With Hyungwon out of the picture, he wondered if he should make his move. One final attempt to keep Kihyun safe from heartbreak because he knew for sure only one thing. He could never hurt the younger man. With one final kiss to the top of his friend's head, he let sleep claim him.

Kihyun listened silently as Hoseok's breathing evened out to his normal sleep rhythm before breathing in his soothing scent. The older always smelled like cake and Axe body wash and made him feel at home every time he was near. He used to make fun of his friend for having a baking addiction but Kihyun would never change a thing about Hoseok and loved being his personal taste tester. Besides, if the older did stop baking then he wouldn't smell the same and that thought alone seemed tragic to him.

With another deep breath, he could feel his tension slowly evaporating. Kihyun allowed his mind to fill with the same old fantasies, ones he had felt guilty over while with Hyungwon.  His imagination carried him to a place where he had confessed his love the Hoseok back in high school. They were happy and this apartment was their home. Sometimes they had a little fluffy dog, sometimes Hoseok slipped a ring on his finger at their anniversary dinner. But in the end it was all the same. Kihyun was happy, happier than he had ever been in his own, real relationship.

Letting those beautiful thoughts take over and push out his grief, masking it from him at least until the morning, Kihyun felt himself drifting off again. Sleepily, he planted a soft kiss on the elder's shoulder before burying his face against the nape of Hoseok's neck. He was snoring softly only moments later.


End file.
